2006-07-20 - 1:36 a.m.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOO, YEAH
(originally written on 7/5! not posted until 7/20 out of laziness!)
Greetings, people! Greetings and salutations. What a beautiful day for a ball game. Let's play two!
I'm kinda surprised I never opened a post with that before. That's from Seinfeld, by the way. When new spiffy Yankees George comes into the coffee shop. Explaining little things like that kinda ruins the point of using them, but of the select few who actually still check here to see if anything's been posted, I know at least one never watched Seinfeld, so I didn't want her to be left out on all the fun.
Also, the title of this post, that's from a Beatles song. I'm not sure who knows the Beatles and who doesn't. I imagine everyone does, but I thought I'd mention it just in case. The title is actually the second line of the lyric... I already used the first line after my birthday two years ago. Good lord, that means I've had this goofy little blog for over two years. It's hard to believe.
I'm using that title because I actually started writing a post after my birthday, which is at the beginning of June if you're looking for a belated gift for me. But I never got around to finishing it. I don't feel like thinking up a new title, though. It's too taxing.
At the moment I'm just sitting around my empty house all alone. My sweetums has gone to attend her cousin's wedding, leaving me all by myself for a whole two days. It's a long time, two days. At first, I was kinda looking forward to it. Having a few days to get a taste of the swinging bachelor life I left behind. Staying up late. Playing video games. Watching wrestling. Eating greasy take-out food. Not showering or shaving for a few days and nobody being around to care. Oh, that is the life.
But as I write this, about halfway into it, I just wish it was over with. I miss her! And this house is big and scary when it's empty. I can't sleep by myself anymore, so I just toss and turn all night. I'm not cut out for this.
I was going to talk about my birthday because it turned out to be a pretty significant day. I don't know what it was, 'cause I knew all along that my birthday was coming up. Charity had her's a week before mine and everything was normal. But once the day came, and after all the fun birthday stuff had concluded, I just got to thinking about things as I lay in bed that night.
I'm 26 years old now. 26! Where did all the time go? My wedding, college, even high school, they don't seem like they happened that long ago. My two year wedding anniversary is in a few weeks, which is five years that Charity and I have been together. But that all feels like it just happened yesterday.
I know a lot of people my age or older who had this moment when they finally felt like a grown-up for the first time. Like the first day they went to a full-time job, or the first night they slept in their own house. Or even smaller things, like the first time they bought a tie, or went grocery shopping for themselves, or whatever the case may be. I remember several years ago Charity had home from school for spring break and it was the first time I'd seen her in over a year. And I was watching her through the window as she walked to her car from my parents' house, putting on her sunglasses with her purse over her shoulder, starting her car and backing out of the driveway. And I remember being kinda stunned by how grown-up she seemed. She had turned into an actual woman and stuff.
But I don't have a moment like that as it relates to myself. I've never felt like a grown-up. I'm married, I have a job, my wife and I live in our own house together, but I've never stopped and thought "wow, I'm grown up now". Maybe that night on my birthday was my moment, but it might have just been me worrying about getting old. Not that 26 is old, but I'm closer to being 30 now than I am to being 20. Entire years are flying by just like that. As fast as things are happening, I could blink and it'll be our 10th anniversary before I know it. Or our 20th.
These thoughts caught up with me all at once. I doubt I can explain it, but I felt like I've been wasting time, like I've been putting things off because I always thought there would be time to do it later. Not little things like defragging my hard drive, which I totally need to do by the way, but big things. And I looked over at Charity, who was sleeping there all sweetly and quietly. And I woke her up and we started talking and, to make long story short (too late), it was decided that
she'd stop taking her birth control pills whenever her next cycle ends. I don't really know anything about the cycles. I'm not sure I want to.
That's not to say that we're going to try to have a baby. It just means we're not going to prevent it anymore. If it happens, it happens. And if it doesn't, at some point in the future we'll enter the whole "trying" process. I'd get a little more detailed, but I don't think I should be talking about all that in this family-friendly setting.
It's a very odd topic, babies. You hear people say all the time that they're trying to have a baby, but think about all the things that are implied in that statement. They're topics you wouldn't normally start a conversation with, that's all I'm saying.
I gotta stop for now. I'll post again soon, I promise.
