2004-07-29 - 2:11 a.m.
THE END IS HERE
Hoo boy. When I started writing this, it was less than 48 hours away from the end of my stylin' swingin' single life. Right now, as I'm posting it, the Zero Hour has almost arrived. I wrote this in bits and pieces since things are a little busy. Just a tad. Hopefully it's not too disjointed and all whatnots.
I figured this may be as good a time as any to say something nice about Charity for a few moments. Because I sure do like her. In fact, I kinda love her. I mean, really. I really love her. I'm IN love with her. Madly in love.
There's so much I could say that it's kinda hard to sum it all up. She is just the kindest, sweetest person I have ever met. She has the ability to see the good in almost everything, which I've always admired about her. She cares about people. And animals. Insects she's not a fan of. Her dedication to nutrition and physical fitness is tireless. She likes books.
She's so smart and so beautiful and I tell her all the time how pretty she is, for example, but she never walks around thinking about herself that way. She gets shy and self-conscious about how she looks, which I think makes her all the more attractive. I know people who aren't half as smart as she is, who aren't half as pretty, and so on and so on, but they act like stuck up a-holes about whatever it is that they think makes them better than other people. And Charity is the total opposite of those people. I just think she's amazing.
My single friends never like hearing this kinda stuff, although I know they'll come around one day. But I really think there's such a thing as fate or that there's one person out there that's meant for you. I have no other way to explain the relationship I've had with Charity for most of my life. She IS my life. We're just connected somehow.
I was thinking today of how, when we were little kids and people would find out that my best friend was a girl, they would always assume that she was some kind of overall wearing tom-boy with streaks of dirt on her face or something. It was usually adults who would say that, or people who were older than us but not necessarily adults yet.
But she was never like that. She's always been very girly. We would ride our bikes together and stuff, but her bike was pink and sparkly. I liked that about her and it would always annoy me for some reason when people would make that assumption. It was like they were saying that she must be some weird boyish girl for me to like her, or that I was weird for liking a girlish-girl. But I never thought that maybe they were right and maybe she WAS weird or that I was weird. I just thought they were dumb.
And along those same lines, Charity told me that back around 4th grade and 5th grade or so, her mom had these little talks with her before the school year started where she'd try preparing Charity for the possibility that I'd start hanging out more with my guy friends and doing the things that boys do, which would mean I'd start paying less attention to Charity as a result. Her mom was just warning her because she didn't want her feelings to get hurt.
But that never happened and Charity said that's when she knew that we had this special bond. She knew we would be together some day. It took me a lot longer to realize it, but I eventually caught on. We're supposed to be together. It reminds me of that movie with Robin Williams where he dies and his wife dies, and Cuba Gooding his guardian angel. I don't remember the name of it. But when he and his wife are in Heaven, they go back and live new lives as new people and still come together because their souls are connected. That's exactly how I feel about her. I love her more than I can describe.
Boy, those were some nice things that I said about her. I better make sure she reads it cause I think I could parlay this into some "special attention", if you know what I'm talking about. Nudge, nudge.
Anyway... my best man is a guy we grew up with who's been my bud for lo these many years, and he told me yesterday that for our wedding present he made this video about us. Like a video scrapbook with pictures and old home movies spliced in, and he even interviewed like our friends and old teachers and stuff for it. That's actually what he does for a living, he works at a video production place that does like year-in-review videos for local sports teams and that sort of thing.
It sounds okay and everything, but I can't help noticing that it didn't exactly cost him anything. The cheapskate. Haha, no. It sounds awesome, I can't wait to see it. That's why he told me early, because he wanted to make sure Charity and I could set aside some time to watch it before we leave. When I told her she almost started crying just at the idea of it, so the real thing ought to be a big bawl-fest.
Speaking of which, we had a wedding rehearsal yesterday, and I'm up there standing with the "Officiant", as they say. Something was going on in the aisle and Charity and her sister were going over something with someone. I dunno what. And earlier on we'd been talking about who would be crying at the wedding, and since we're just standing there doing nothing, the Reverend asks me if I figured out how many boxes of Kleenex we'll need for the front rows.
And I'm like, man. My mom, surely. Charity's mom. My sister. Charity's sister I would tend to doubt, but you never know. Charity herself, probably. And I'm starting into the second wave of relatives when he goes "well, what about you?". And I'm like "ME? Do a lot of grooms cry?" And he starts talking about how when you see her coming down the aisle, wearing the dress, smiling at you... he's seen lots of guys crack.
So I'm kinda like "hmm". Because that does sound like a teary moment. Maybe I would have gotten a little choked up. But I surely won't now that he's tipped me off about it, so it's a moot point anyway.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the video. I mention this not only because it sounds really neat, BUT I'm fairly sure that the same sort of thing also happened on Wings! I didn't see this particular episode while I've been watching it off and on here over the past few months, but I remember one before Joe and Helen's wedding where someone made them a video and was interviewing the people on the island like Roy and Antonio.
And the end of the video was of Joe and Helen saying something nice and kissing each other. But then the screen pulled out to like a future-ish living room where these two people are watching the video and referring to Joe and Helen as their grandparents. And then the show ended. So yet another Wings comparison to add to the list. Hopefully I won't drop the ring in the toilet like Joe did.
The weather has become a bit of an issue, because there's a 20-30% chance of rain on the big day. None of the wedding related events are outside, but Charity says it's bad luck if it rains. Also, according to some other wedding superstition, whichever one of us falls asleep first on the wedding night will be the one who dies first. Jeez. Luckily, I don't plan on doing much sleeping on the wedding night, if you still know what I'm talking about. Nudge nudge again.
I like rainy days, though. Not like thunderstorm rainy, but just a grey sky with a light sprinkle. I wouldn't mind at all if that's the kind of day it turns out to be. But she's crazy with these superstitions. I haven't seen her in her wedding dress because that's bad luck. We're going our separate ways the night before the wedding and we won't see each other until she's coming down the aisle, because that's some sort of tradition.
After the wedding is the reception and then we're going to Kansas City for the night. We got a suite at the Hilton by the airport there. When Charity's sister got married a few years ago, they left the wedding and went right to the airport and got on a plane, which just seemed strange to me. No wedding night? That sucks! So we made sure to make our flights for the next day, and the next morning we're flying to New Jersey. And we'll be around that area for a few days. Then it's off to swinging London, baby. Yeah! Pretend I said that last part with an Austin Powers accent.
From there we're going all over the damn place. I don't really know where. It's all planned out though, probably like a charter trip that this travel agency does. We'll be home at the end of September and living in our new house. I'm pretty excited.
I had a dream last night, one of the dreams that I talked about once before where we're back in school and I'm trying to track her down and tell her how I feel about her. In this one, we were in high school and I never even saw her face. I was behind her the whole time, trying to catch up to her, trying to tell her. I'm hoping these dreams will stop once I vow to be with her until death do us part.
I've also had a few dreams lately where I come downstairs and somebody's like "you know, you missed the whole football game" and I'm like "WHAAAAAT I didn't even know a game was on!". I would assume that these dreams are in reference to the fact that I'm totally gonna miss the start of football season while I'm out clog dancing with wooden shoes in Holland or whatever the butt I'll be doing. But it's worth it. I can't wait to be married to Charity. I think it'll work out pretty good.
I was gonna say that this is probably the last hurrah for this little blog experiment, but I'll probably post something when I get back just to say "Hi, I'm back". But this is all that'll be here for a few months so I hope it wasn't too boring.
I gotta go! Seeya sometime.
